Untitled Pain Poem

We met before consciousnesses

but you were idle

idle for years

lingering underneath unbeknownst to me.

here you are 26 years later

actually you first showed yourself at 16 but you were not yet a storm,

you were not yet consuming me

pain.

causing me to reconsider my life

my joy,

sickness, chronic

and though I know you now,

i do not yet understand you,

I’m not sure I wish to.

I just want control back.

Please return my body to me.

my hope, my dreams, my fears.

Release and Return.